Top Ten Signs You're Talking To a Wannabe

10. "I learned how to make a stoplight change!"
9. "Can you teach me how to make a raincloud come around?"
8. "Well, I saw this really cool Ricky Lake show..."
7. "I'm a natural witch!"
6. "What do you mean that I'm not in ceremonial clothing?"
5. "You mean that you don't have a familiar?"
4. "I studied the Necronomicon. It was pretty cool, sitting right there in Waldenbooks. I just had to summon Cthulu!"
3. "I sometimes hear voices in my head... They tell me that the Goddess is watching me and that my parents are the freaks."
2. "I'm an expert in the field of..."
1. "I'm a warlock."

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